


Insecurities

by galaxyblueflame



Series: Boyf riends oneshots [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, he a fluff, protect michael tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 08:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11376753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyblueflame/pseuds/galaxyblueflame
Summary: Sometimes Michael's insecurities get to him





	Insecurities

Michael wouldn't say he was the most confident boy, especially with someone like  _Jeremy_ as his best friend. Jeremy was stunning in Michael's eyes. He was tall, nerdy, had gorgeous eyes.... Michael could go on forever with why Jeremy was perfect. But when it came to himself, he couldn't see any good qualities.

 

He was changing into actual clothes, as Jeremy was coming over. Anybody would want to look presentable in front of their crush. His eyes glanced up, eyes falling onto the mirror. Michael frowned at the sight, looking at his reflection. He just stared, eyes fixated on his stomach. Michael had always hated his pudge. No matter what he did, it never really went away. His frown deepened, as his fingers splayed out onto his tummy, poking and squeezing it. Michael  _hated_ the fact that it jiggled.

 

His vision blurred, as tears started forming in his eyes. ' _God I'm such a baby!'_ He thought, laughing bitterly. Michael harshly wiped at his eyes, getting angry at himself. He so wanted the tears to stop, but they just wouldn't. His lip quivered, legs giving out. Michael just sat on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest. These are the times when Michael's bad thoughts really rear their ugly faces.

 

_Jeremy could never love you._

 

_You're just some fat freak._

 

_All you'll ever be is some stoner loser._

 

He covered his mouth, trying to quiet his sobs. There was no real reason to, nobody was here, he just didn't want to hear it himself. Michael's body shook with each muffled whimper. He curled more and more into himself, just wanting to disappear. He really hated his weak he was. Michael gripped at his hair, just wanting the thoughts to stop. He felt like he was drowning in them, suffocating him.

 

"Michael?" A soft voice spoke out. It sounded so quiet, almost like it wasn't there at all. It sounded worried, scared almost. Michael looked up, seeing a blurry figure standing in his doorway. Instead of answering, he just let out a loud sob. The person instantly rushed to his side, wrapping his arms around the shaking boy. He whispered comforting words, trying to calm Michael down. Michael vaguely was aware the person was Jeremy.

 

He latched onto Jeremy's shirt, hugging him tightly as he cried into his shoulder. Jeremy just hugged him back even tighter, lightly playing with his hair.

"It's going to be okay Michael, it's okay." He hushed, comforting the boy. They sat there for what felt like hours, until Michael had stopped crying. He let out some hiccups every now and then, but it was nothing like earlier. It hurt Jeremy's heart to see his best friend like this. He's only ever witnessed Michael having a break down a couple times.

 

"I'm sorry." Michael mumbled, not getting up from where he was. He was comfortable, he didn't want to break away from Jeremy just yet. Jeremy didn't seem to mind, continuing to run his fingers through Michael's hair.

 

"What for?" Jeremy hummed out. "You didn't do anything wrong."

 

"For all of this, you don't deserve having to put up with me." Michael whimpered, squeezing Jeremy tightly. Jeremy pulled back, a frown etched onto his face.

 

"Michael I don't put up with you, I want to do all this, I want to be there for you. It isn't some bother." He mumbled, his hand reached up to wipe away some stray tears. Jeremy didn't move his hand away though, cupping Michael's face. Michael glanced away, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

 

"Thank you...." Michael muttered, still looking away. He didn't want to keep facing Jeremy's gaze, or he might do something he'd regret. ' _Jeremy will never love you.'_ A thought popped into his mind. It hurt him greatly, but it was true. Jeremy liked cute dainty things like Christine.  _Christine...._ Michael adored the girl, but he still couldn't help feel the envy when he saw them a little too close together. They may not be together, but Jeremy did have feelings for her.

 

"What was wrong anyways?" Jeremy finally spoke up, wanting to know what caused his friend to break down so badly. He just wanted to help, wanted to take away all his pain. Michael bit his lip, frowning. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

 

"It's just...." Michael hesitated, not sure how to say it. ' _What if he hates me afterwards?'_ Doubts plagued his mind. He sighed, shaking his head. Jeremy would never leave him for something like this. "Sometimes I don't like how I look.... it just got to me today is all..." Michael said, barely above a whisper. Jeremy probably wouldn't have heard him, if it wasn't the fact that they were so close together.

 

Jeremy's heart broke at that. He couldn't understand how somebody so perfect could not like how they looked?  
"Michael, look at me." He said sternly. Michael slowly turned back to Jeremy, blinking back tears. "Michael you're beautiful." Jeremy looked at him with such earnest, trying to get the message across. Michael's face flushed, instantly looking down.

 

' _Jeremy thinks I'm beautiful....?'_ He couldn't wrap his mind around that statement. He couldn't understand how somebody like  _that_ can call him beautiful. Jeremy wasn't having it though, as he gripped Michael's chin making him look back up.

 

"You're beautiful Michael." He repeated, practically begging for the boy in his lap to believe him. It made Michael's heart race, the blush spreading across his face. "The most beautiful person I've ever seen." Michael wanted to cry again. Cry at the words, about how true Jeremy sounded. So he did. Tears slowly leaking down his face, hugging Jeremy tightly again. He just continued to say how beautiful Michael was, how  _perfect he was_.

 

Michael was overcome with so many emotions, he said something he never thought he'd say.  
"I love you." He cried, burying his face in the crook of Jeremy's neck. "I'm so sorry, but I love you so much Jeremy."

 

Jeremy's heart fluttered at that. He's had feelings for Michael for awhile now, ever since the whole squip incident. Michael was always there for him, always by his side. How couldn't he fall for the boy? He grabbed Michael's arms, slowly pulling him back.   
"Do you mean that?" Jeremy whispered, afraid that maybe he misunderstood. A slight nod from Michael was all the answer he needed. Jeremy surged forward, connecting their lips.

 

The kiss wasn't the best, it was sloppy and wet from Michael's tears, but in both of their opinions it was perfect.


End file.
